I did not expect to respond to rude money comments over the loud music. I slowed at the crosswalk and my passenger shouted…
“The song won’t load on your phone!” as he searched for something different to play through the car speakers.
“I don’t have a data plan!” I replied. “WHAT!? Data is cheap!” my passenger complained
“What do you think? I am made of money?” I asked confused.
“YES!” my passenger fired back in an annoyed tone.
Did my friend know they made a rude comment? What was it that made my friend think this? I had worked in ‘finance’ but never shared my income or assets. My clothes were “OK” but sometimes wore torn jeans. They tore the old-fashioned way, time and work. Why is there an expectation to spend? Furthermore, I’ve disappointed a friend for not living up to their expectations. Here are five ways to respond to the crowd who frequently says “live a little,” “don’t be greedy,” “why don’t you donate more,” and the more direct “you have the money!”
- That’s just not my style
This person cannot dictate how our money is handled. However, we have no say in how they act. And depending on the setting, it will usually not be best to explain our actions and why they should not be commenting. People are imperfect, and the best thing to do is move on as quickly as possible with a smile and say “that’s just not my style.” It could apply to the “thing” someone is trying to get us to buy or how we handle your money. It also avoids an admission of our financial situation and truthfully sidesteps the suggestion.
- Have an honest conversation – this is what I need to do for my goals
If this is a close friend, and it is a small relaxed setting, it may be worth it to say we have plans – and be specific. “I am saving for a house,” “I am saving for school,” and “I am saving for my children’s school.” If they are a true friend, they will be eager to cheer us on. Unfortunately, if they persist, “come on, it’s only xx dollars” then repeat that this goal is very important to us, we want to put everything I have into it. If they persist further, then reflect on this friendship. This leads to the final approach.
- Don’t respond at all
If a person persists, then you can end the conversation. “I don’t have much else to say about it” will do. We made our point. If that cannot be respected then this person does not belong in our life.
Notice these approaches are not confrontational. It is a bad idea to say “it is because of decisions like this that we are rich and you are poor.” Yikes, that is sure to increase tension. The statement may be true but, it is improper to assume another persons financial situation. There is no sense in committing the same wrong that someone has done to us in everyday casual conversation. respond to rude money comments calmly, directly, and plainly.
If you hang out with fewer friends, make sure not to fill your time with television.
-Stay Wealthy